Coldness doth pervade mine heart

(excerpt from poem written)

"Now, tis not this very immoral act that I do fear, but rather my coldness of heart. For though mine entire body seems crushed to the ground with heavy bricks, I cannot bring myself to ask my Lord for forgiveness. Not a tear hath I shed yet and for this I fear greatly. Hath I backed so far away that mine own heart hath turned against me? I do not quite know well what to thinketh upon. I do know well that I needeth to repent, but something doth hold me back. Fear! Fear hath gripped mine soul. Where hath the innocent and pure Tammany laid her head tonight? Can I not find that her heart is far more right with God than I? Oh God, do not forsake me. For though Thou hast said this oft I do fear that the walls which I do build are growing taller by the minute. I hath let too much go astray."
"Oh spiteful sin! Thou doest hang about mine neck like a gallows rope. I do fear thee, but far more do I fear the greater distance between my Lord and I. Oh Lord, I hath crossed o'er the wall which Thou hast said that Thou wish it not of me. I am a fool! How thoughtless I have been! Canst Thou find the hole where I did enter in? Canst Thou search out mine heart and return me to mine rightful place? Oh Lord, cast me not away. I am fearful that Thou doest not want to find me. Oh Lord, please forgive me for mine foolishness."